Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Your penis caused this!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
