omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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