We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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