I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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