i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We are all done wearing pants today
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize