need another drink. this is the easiest way
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Houston, we have a squirter
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
