This house was built for laser tag.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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