You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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