He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
