Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
