I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
