he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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