that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
