"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
