all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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