you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
