but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
