I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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