How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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