and you said cock pushups were impossible
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
