Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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