help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
