he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
