Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
