i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
