dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
