never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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