If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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