I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im part way to drunk.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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