i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
only if we run a train.
done.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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