Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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