Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
