just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
