Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
