How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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