He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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