Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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