i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
