Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
