I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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