We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
