He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
