its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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