nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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