his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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