he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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