Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize