Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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