She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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