im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
