all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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