Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
did i just pee glitter
I would ride that face into the sunset
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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