I can text with my tongue
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
