its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
