It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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