You're completely useless in the revolution.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
