I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize