I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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