just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
