In the future we'll all be gay
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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