Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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