we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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